Hope for Something New

This blog is my reflection of The Flying Child – A Fairy Tale for Adults , book launch, hosted by SH+ME on 20/02/24. It is written in the style of the fairy tale, from the perspective of The Little Princess – the character I created to give myself a voice when unable to ‘speak’ my story of Child Sexual Abuse.

Huge thanks to the SH+ME team: Joanna Bourke, Ruth Beecher, Rhea Sookdeosingh and Emma Yapp, and to our panel: Ruth Beecher, Clare Shaw, Jonathon Tomlinson and Patricia Walsh. Thank you to The Flying Child Team: Vicki, Simon, Jasmine, Toni, Kate and Rhianna (special thanks to security).

Thank you to ‘The People’ for listening.


 “Hansel, don’t despair! I know how to help – wait and be patient”

The Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales  

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The Flying Child – A Cautionary Fairy Tale for Adults: Pre-Order Now

The Flying Child – A Cautionary Fairy Tale for Adults is now available for pre-order.

Thank you ZunTold for recognising Child Sexual Abuse (and its impact) is a subject that needs shouting about – and for believing in the book.

I particularly want to thank my publisher, Elaine Bousfield for her hard work and dedication in making this book come to fruition. As some survivors will know, publishing books about this subject is not straightforward, for many reasons. There have been moments where I’ve found the process overwhelming and difficult, and by proxy this will have been tricky for her too. I think we have both learnt a lot along the way, muddled through at times and I appreciate how patient she has been throughout. I have had more control over the outcome than I perhaps would have done elsewhere, and I’m grateful for that.

Elaine believes in me, in Pat, and is open minded in her understanding that when it comes to the support of CSA survivors, it’s not as simple as ‘one size fits all.’

 For those who hold the authority to influence survivors’ lives – psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, teachers, researchers, nurses, doctors, midwives – this book provides education about the harms of Child Sexual Abuse, the power of working relationally, and creative ways to challenge the silencing of abuse. Overall, this book is a call to action to transform our current systems and practices so that they support Child Sexual Abuse survivors to heal, rather than re-enforcing its harms. 

Dr Síofra Peeren, Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology
and Neuroscience, King’s College London

ZunTold’s ethos is to harness the healing power of people’s stories and I believe there is much to be learned from the narration of personal experience. When we walk in another’s footsteps we can better understand the potential for causing further harm, the barriers that stand in the way of meaningful and sustained support, and the ways in which we can, as individuals, make a very real difference to the lives of those who have suffered in this particular way.

This book documents my journey and allows the reader to make the links between Child Sexual Abuse and how we might begin to survive it. It highlights what helped me to live a life beyond CSA – but it is just one story. Books like The Flying Child should be everywhere we turn. We cannot keep brushing the subject under the carpet. There are an estimated 11 million CSA survivors in the U.K. 11 million different stories of abuse and survival. Many different experiences of seeking support, of perhaps experiencing further harm – many different needs to be met (and many different ways of meeting them). My wish is for this book to stimulate much needed debate and conversation about how we begin to do that in a way that doesn’t cause harm. One of the first and most important things we can do, in this respect, is to engage with personal testimony.

It was the use of metaphor in the book that I feel will have the most  profound impact on my practice – in our work with children, some as young as 3, the therapists try to find creative methods to give them a voice; a way to explore their muddles and worries. The concept of fairytale enables the child’s story to be told through characters that represent their subconscious thoughts and feelings and make sense of them at their own pace.

Thank you so much for removing the shroud that hides child sexual abuse, that prevents children and adults from engaging in the right support and the right time. I feel this book will enable healing for many.

Clare Sullivan, Barnardo’s Bridgeway Project

You can pre-order from Waterstones here, WHSmith here, Telegraph Bookshop here and Amazon here.

Peer Support Update

Spaces for survivors of Child Sexual abuse (CSA) are few and far between. As a group we are hidden and can feel silenced. Even when people ‘know’, it can be hard to speak openly. We know the misconceptions people have, and the judgment that might be passed. We know exactly what speaking openly risks and what we might lose.

Thanks to The National Lottery Community Fund, our in-person, peer support group is now up and running. It is therapist and lived experience co-led, the aim being to create a sense of ‘us’ as opposed to the ‘them and us’ approach favoured by some but disliked by many. The encouragement is to share openly if you need to, leave armour and masks at the door, and to know that above all, you are welcome in the space. This applies to facilitators as well. If something feels relatable then why not say so? We can become so tied up in policy and protocol that we forget we are humans too. This can create a power imbalance within a group setting. It can also breed resentment. I used to ask, ‘but how do you understand? Have you experienced this yourself?’ and being frustrated by the cagey, neither yes nor no response.

CSA survivors who have experienced manipulation, betrayal or gaslighting to the extreme, deserve authenticity, connection, and sincerity, not rigidity and inflexibility.

As a group, CSA survivors are often placed in a peer support with others who have no experience of CSA. Whilst there might be similarities with those who have experienced sexual violence as an adult, there are also differences. I have benefitted from mixed groups – in many ways they were life changing for me and played a vital part role in my own journey, and I value beyond measure, the connections I made. However, at times I felt excluded from conversations because I was silenced by these differences. In my head they were significant, and I sat with a heavy feeling in my heart that others just wouldn’t – or couldn’t understand. So, I sometimes didn’t speak, even when I desperately wanted to. I longed to meet people ‘like me.’ I would have preferred a group of CSA survivors had there been a choice.

Spaces for survivors of CSA allow opportunity for us to meet and speak to others who can understand and relate in some way. Our stories may differ, but we will all face common challenges in a society that prefers to turn away from this form of abuse.

It is a privilege to meet such incredible and inspiring survivors at our different peer support groups, to hear their stories and to witness our isolated community coming together.

These 12 week in-person groups are not therapy groups. They are particularly suitable for those looking for survivor-led support but with the added reassurance of a highly experienced therapist and her well established (excellent!) self-development programme. The Surrey location is conveniently accessed on public transport with easy links to London.

The Flying Child Book Announcement

Thrilled to see this announced in The Bookseller. Published by ZunTold– The Flying Child is part memoir and part documentation of the journey I took with Patricia Walsh – a therapist who helped me find a way to tell my story. It’s not that I hadn’t tried before, I had many ‘failed’ attempts at therapy, but Pat’s approach was not one I’d experienced. 

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No Toes and Crocodile Smiles

Sometimes she called me Pobble With No Toes 
from a poem 
I think 
by Edward Leah 
it made me giggle and wiggle my toes 
to check they were still there 

sometimes he called me Poppet 
with a wink and a crocodile smile 
he kept his teeth hidden 
hello Poppet 
I shot up to the sky 
my heart fell into my feet 

                                 Sophie Olson


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