Tag: Suicidal ideation

Surviving in Stormy Seas

By Sophie Olson
A Poem by Sophie Olson that reads: do you drink every day? and she recalled how heavy the weight of her coat a stumbling trudge under street lamps at dusk blank faces of commuters as she stood on the edge and waited hopeless in her head debating the pull of motherhood considering milk-mouthed babies starfishes in warm beds

There were so many days like this. Too many days. It feels like a lifetime of surviving. Often I wonder why I did survive. Sometimes I feel so very old.

This poem reflects a point in my life where I had reached out for help more times than I can remember. I had tried to be stronger, happier – more resilient. I had tried to focus on, and be grateful for the good things – there were many good things – but I was drowning and help wasn’t forthcoming.

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On the Crest of a Wave

Content: Child sexual abuse. Suicide.

This week I have been considering why it’s so hard for survivors to reach out even when our support network is strong. I feel that I’m an old hand at this and it should be easy to say when I’m triggered but it’s not. Some triggers grind me to a halt and I need to take a few days to reflect on what it was, process the memory and wait for the wave to pass.

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